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Song- As Soon as You Were Finished

This is a song I wrote back in ’07 that deals with the vanity of things that promise us relief in life, and really don’t do a thing.  Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

As Soon As You Were Finished

Whiskey bottle, fancy seeing you around
If I thought that you could help me
I’d tip you up and drink you all the way down
Cause you smell and taste so warm
And your curves give me such a thrill
But as soon as you were finished
I’d be alone here still

Hello cigarettes, I see that all of you are here
Your telling me that I have nothing to fear
Cause I could burn all of you down
And fill the world with smoke
But as soon as you were finished
You’d burn my lips and make me choke

Hey there woman, you’re telling me it’s alright
You think I should lay back and say whats on my mind
Well you want to work your magic
Cause you say you see I’m blue
But as soon as you were finished
I would feel the same way that I do

Everything is vanity, everything destroys
I want to leave behind the scandals, and all of their loud noise
Cause nothing here can save my soul
It all washes out just like sand
So as soon as I am finished
I want to know where I stand

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About everydaysubversive

I am a subversive. I want you to come with me. I want you to subvert the powers and principalities with me. This blog will be the incoherent ramblings of a border-line crazed militant, peppered with book reviews, songs, poems, stories, commentary, and the Word of God. And, which will be the reoccurring theme, regular suggestions on how to daily subvert the forces of darkness. This is going to get messy. You might bleed a little, and i might as well. At any rate, stay tuned, there should be a lot to talk about.

5 responses to “Song- As Soon as You Were Finished

  1. thehurtfactory ⋅

    Hey Sub – I like the idea, so much more interesting than yet another love song (which I seem to write constantly!)
    As a writer, I would say fix some of the internal logic – (once they’re gone the cigarettes can’t burn you – whiskey bottles generally are not curved!) I know it sounds petty, but I really like the logic to hold.
    Otherwise it’s hard to tell without hearing it – – great lyrics can somehow fail when in a song – bad lyrics can be rescued with good music, bad music rescued with good lyrics – who knows.
    Time to get an mp3 app for your blog 🙂
    Interesting start your blog from what I’ve read – good luck. THF

    • Hurt- I really appreciate the kind words and the wisdom. I need to be more open to change this one, but it has been rumbling around awhile, and you know how songs are kind of like kids- when they are born, you kind of just have to let them be who they are. At the risk of sounding like a defensive jerk, this may allow you to see some of what I perceive as, though flawed, the logic- once you reach the filter of a cigarette, when it is essentially finished, if you keep it in your mouth, it will burn your lips, and the taste is not so good anymore, makes you choke. As far as the bottle, i see the curves typically where is widens from the neck to the body, and it just being rounded, not sharp, and meant more so to personify it. With that said, keep critiquing, I need it, and I will be posting new stuff that I am willing to take a hatchet to. You can check out http://www.reverbnation.com/joshuacoffman for some really rough recordings. Thanks again!

      • thehurtfactory ⋅

        Hi Sub, – Fair points all, I was just being a pedant. I agree, songs are like kids – I find it hard to hear feedback (even good!), harder to change them. But I did an MA in writing and got hardened to having to edit. After all, you wouldn’t let your kids run riot!
        Anywho – I like the recordings, you have a good blues voice, clear but a little broken in if you see what I mean. You have inspired me to post some of my (garden shed) recordings which I’ll post in the next few days if you ever fancy dropping by.
        Keep writing 🙂

  2. Hurt- I definitely will. I am excited to hear your stuff, I have found it super liberating just posting stuff I recorded, not necessarily polished. Some of those recordings I was actually writing the song while recording (for those with ears to hear, it is obvious). I would love to talk to you some about your experience that you have written in your about section. Peace.

  3. thehurtfactory ⋅

    Hey EDS, Hope your doing okay. I (hope I) have some music on site now. So much hassle! But it’s on my sidebar – let me know if it works.
    Also, been working on a way of privately discussing ‘my about page’ – obviously can’t put everything in the public eye. Lets see how we go. THF

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